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A judge has ruled that the government can require federal employees to go back to work without pay. I guess this makes sense...this will balance out the situation of Congress being paid without really working. Once again, President Clinton is denying being linked to yet another woman who could hurt his political career. Now he says he never met Hillary. Steve Forbes, the Republican presidential candidate, is worth $400M. Only in our system would a guy worth $400M spend $25M for a job that pays $200K and call himself a financial expert. Senator Al D'Amato, during the Whitewater Hearings, continues to imply that Hillary Clinton is a liar. Do you believe that? If she were a really good liar, instead of health care, Clinton would have her running his reelection campaign. The one good thing to come out of the Whitewater Hearings is the message of equality. Remember when Hillary first began working on healthcare? She said she wanted to be treated like any other member of the Clinton administration...and now she is. Dole was on an interview on MTV and they asked him if he wore boxers or briefs, and he said...Depends. Here is the latest update on America's most dysfunctional couple. You know the rumors: They never slept together; critics say it was more a business partnership than a marriage, and of course he's still under investigation for his strange sex life. But enough about the Clinton's. Clinton says that kids should wear uniforms to school because that will cut down on violence. Why not? It worked so well for the post office. The White House lawyer who is the chief spokesman of the Whitewater case was robbed of $1500.00 when thieves pulled a gun on him and took his money. When they found out he was a lawyer they gave him back his Rolex, cellular phone, and $10 for cab fare. I believe they call that professional courtesy. Bob Dole says he's been tested, test, and tested again. And that's just his prostate. Have you noticed that as Hillary gets deeper in trouble, Bill's popularity soars. That makes sense politically. Clinton knows that as a politician, to look honest, he has to stand next to a lawyer. Steve Forbes has spent $18M of his own money on his presidential campaign and the election is still 9 months away. At this rate he culled run out of money by November and run as a Democrat. In Nevada a prostitute is running for the U.S. Congress. The nice thing is if she does get elected, when she goes to Congress the first day she won't be nervous because she already knows everybody. Chelsea Clinton has started dating. The Clinton's say they like it when she dates a boy interested in politics because they want somebody in their family to have a political future. While Clinton was in Iowa, he was trying on one of his new campaign slogans: "The best is yet to come." Is that really the best slogan for a guy who has been in office for 4 years? What is he really saying? The worst is over? According to legend, George Washington once threw a silver dollar across the Potomac River. What people don't know is that right after he threw it, dozens of people started falling over each other trying to grab the dollar, thus creating the Republican party. The results from New Hampshire has come in and it's a three way tie among apathy, complete disdain, and revulsion. Pat Buchanan seems to be softening his image a bit. He said that minorities and women would have a place in his administration. No, wait, I'm sorry. He said, as president, his administration would put minorities and women in their place. Pat Buchanan is still defending his former campaign co-chairman, Larry Pratt against allegations that Pratt was involved with right-wing militia groups and white supremacist groups. When reporters asked Buchanan if he thought those allegations were true, he said, "No, I never once saw him at any of the meetings." Presidential candidate Lamar Alexander is reportedly almost out of money. Lamar complained that he has to spend 80% of his time scrounging for money. Hey pal, the rest of America does it 100% of the time. In a campaign speech, Bob Dole said, "I am what I am." I remember when presidential candidates used to quote Jefferson and Lincoln, now they're quoting Popeye. Lamar Alexander's slogan is ABC, which stands for Alexander Beats Clinton. You really think so? He's a southern governor, he avoided military service, and he made $3M in questionable investments. Beat Clinton? He is Clinton. Pat Buchanan is mellowing. He wants to make the Republican Party more diverse by including all shades of white people. Last week Pat Buchanan celebrated his Irish heritage by marching in the St. Patrick's Day Parade while he was in Chicago. Afterwards he gave another speech attacking immigration. Pat Buchanan had a profound influence on the movies this year. Pat is the man who inspired the titles "Dangerous Minds," "Clueless," and "Dumb and Dumber." |
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