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According to the Center for Lifestyle Management, the average couple spends an average of only 4 minutes a day in meaningful conversation. Do you know what men call that? Foreplay.
-1.11.96

TV Soundbites:
My mom always said men are like linoleum floors: Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for 30 years.
-- Grace Under Fire

Because of the frigid temperatures back East, health officials are suggesting that male joggers wear jock straps to prevent frost bite. I bet women would find that ironic: Guys wind up going numb in the only place they've got any real feeling.
-1.18.96

From Late Night with Conan O'Brien:
It was reported that the Pope was a soccer goalie in his youth. So apparently, even as a young man he tried to stop people from scoring.
-2.08.96

Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I seek professional help.
-2.15.96

From Late Night with Conan O'Brien:
A new study in Men's Health magazine has determined that the average man has 7 sexual partners in his lifetime. The study was conducted by asking men how many women they slept with and dividing by 2.
-2.26.96

In Russia, one factory is so short on cash that they have been paying the workers with bras instead of money. The problem is, even though some of them are supposed to be paid in 38DD, after taxes, it's down to a 32AAA.

According to a recent study, men and women in health clubs tend to gravitate to different areas. For example, women tend to head towards the exercise bicycles and men tend to head towards the area right behind the bicycles.
-3.07.96

An English judge has ruled it is now legal to own a nightclub where the people can practice sado-masochistic behavior. Well, of course it's legal. What else can the judge do? If you punish these people, they like that.
-4.04.96