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Plans are under way for a reality show in which men will complete for the chance to be a sperm donor for a woman. I believe the show is called, “Different Strokes.” From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: A group of people in Los Angeles is now fighting for the right for women to be able to sunbathe topless in the state of California. The name of this group? Men. A female high school teacher in Redwood City, CA has been arrested after DNA tests prove that the father of her baby was one of her former students. Why does this keep happening? Remember when an after school special was just a TV show? Here’s an interesting statistic: men in New Jersey are the least likely to buy lingerie for their women. However, governors of New Jersey are the most likely to buy lingerie for themselves. According to rabbis, Viagra is now considered kosher for Passover. You know what that means? Just because the bread can’t rise, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to…. The FDA is holding at least 15 hours of testimony on breast implants. Witnesses have been divided into two categories – perky and saggy. From Late Night with Conan O’Brien: There’s a concern at zoos in China that their panda population is in trouble. Apparently, their pandas are so fat, they can’t mate. Well, that hasn’t stopped us Americans. In a new survey, 14% of people said they had stopped during sex to answer a cell phone. Even more shocking, 7% said they stopped during sex to answer a pay phone…. From Late Night with Conan O’Brien: Starting in the fall, the University of Iowa will offer a course on pornography. How tired is your hand after taking that final? From Late Night with Conan O’Brien: According to a new survey in “Life” magazine, 39% of men said they have more sex on the weekend, while only 33% of women said they have more sex on the weekend. So apparently, 6% of these men are having sex with each other. According to "Self" magazine, 30% of women said they are distracted during sex by noisy children, and those are just the teachers. According to "Glamour" magazine, male elephants only last 20 seconds during sex. And here's the worse part: the female elephants never forget. There's a new movie, "Brokeback Mountain," that won the Venice Film Festival and is quite controversial. It's about two gay cowboys who fall in love. In a lot of ways, it's a typical western. The good guy gets the bad guy in the end. According to woman’s health magazine, 10:34 pm on Saturday night is the time when most women will have an orgasm. Unfortunately, the guy has his around 10:15 pm. Every week it seems like there’s another female teacher having sex with another student. Remember the old days when an after school special was a TV show? 20% of this year’s high school seniors in California flunked the state’s graduation exam. That shows you how backward things are. The exams are hard and the teachers are easy. The FBI is now recruiting agents for an anti-obscenity taskforce. The FBI said they’ll divert agents from other areas to fight a war on pornography. Or, as president Bush is calling it, Weapons of Mass Erections. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Because so many women buy condoms now, Trojans, the condom manufacturer, announced plans to sell condoms under feminine brand names. This could backfire – I’m not sure a lot of guys want to wear condoms named short and sassy. Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested for having sex in the bathroom stall of a ladies room. I don’t understand why they were fired. Isn’t it the job of cheerleaders to excite the crowd? According to a survey by Ikea, they say 11% of people are now having sex in their kitchen. Do you know why? Because they can’t figure out how to put their Ikea bedroom together. From Late Night with Conan O’Brien: |
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