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Doctors now say that the birth control pill does not decrease the risk of having a heart attack. However, forgetting to take the pill will increase your partner's chance of having a heart attack.... Officials at the United Arab Emirates broke up a mass gay wedding in Dubai and arrested two dozen gay men who were trying to get married. And they’re now telling them they might punish the men by injecting them with male hormones. I may be wrong, but wasn’t that what they were going to do during the honeymoon? The people at Match.com have teamed up with Dr. Phil for a new dating program for women called Mind.Find.Bind. Don’t confuse it with the guy’s version of the dating program. That’s Jump.Hump.Dump. From Late Night with Conan O’Brien: Oscar nominations came out last week and one of the gay cowboys from “Brokeback Mountain” was nominated for Best Actor but the other was only nominated for Best Supporting Actor. When asked about it, the Academy said somebody has to be on the bottom…. “Brokeback Mountain” was nominated for eight Oscars; more than any other film. Heath Ledger was nominated for Best Actor and Jake Gyllenhaal nominated for Best Supporting Actor. It seems to me they were both on screen an equal amount of time, but I got to be honest. I can’t remember which actor had the bigger part. From Late Night with Conan O’Brien: The cheerleading coach at East Tennessee State University has kicked one of the teenagers off the team because the girl works as a waitress at Hooters. The coach feels that wearing a skimpy outfit and serving hamburgers is not a proper job for someone who wants to wear a skimpy outfit and jumps up and down. According to a new study done by Italian researchers having a TV in your bedroom can be harmful to your sex life. They say a TV in the bedroom can cut your sex life in half. The good news: having an Italian in your bedroom can double it. Last week, Oprah Winfrey did a show about women addicted to sex. These are women who look for sex any chance they can get it, with anyone they can find. They never turn it down no matter how cheap, dangerous, or degrading it is. They’re like men. According to “Men’s Health” magazine, a man uses 143 muscles while having sex. I didn’t realize it took that many muscles to work a computer. The latest “Cosmopolitan” magazine has a cover story, “7 Ways to Make Him Ache For You.” You know what they are? Don’t have sex with him on Monday, don’t have sex with him on Tuesday,…. A recent issue of “Cosmopolitan” magazine had a cover story called, “His Four Stages of Love.” I think they’re called, first base, second base…. A woman in El Salvador was arrested for smuggling into jail a hand grenade hidden in her vagina. Although, technically, at that point it’s no longer a hand grenade. From Late Night with Conan O’Brien: This Spring, the 2006 issue of “Your Prom” magazine, had a poll asking kids what is your biggest prom nightmare. 60% said the date never shows up, 2% said the limo never shows up, 38% said your period never shows up. CCN ran a story on “sex-somnia.” It’s a sleep disorder that affects mostly men. Sex-somniacs have sex while they’re asleep and the men who have say they have it, don’t remember having sex the next morning. We used to call that getting drunk. According to a new survey, most women can tell in the first hour if a man is worth going out with. And 100% of men say they can tell from the last hour if a woman is worth going out with. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: In Britain women who want to be pregnant without being involved in a relationship with a man can now buy sperm over the internet. Which works out great because a lot of men donate sperm while on the internet. A study in “The Journal of Biological Psychology” said an orgasm a man has from sex is four times more pleasurable than one he has from masturbation. But, it’s also four times more expensive. According to “Playboy” magazine, a pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. Here’s my question: who found this out and why did he tell anybody? At Orlando, FL, doctors say sexually-transmitted diseases among senior citizens in retirement communities are running rampant. Doctors blame Viagra, a lack of sex education, and the low risk of pregnancy for the increase in sexually-transmitted diseases among the elderly. Here’s my question: where are the parents. A Canadian college student is gaining notoriety with claims that he can heal with the touch of his hand. I believe he specializes in breast and pelvic pain. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: According to a study done by the Oxygen TV Network, 3 out of 4 women would prefer to have a giant big-screen plasma TV to a diamond necklace. You know what you call these women? Lesbians. The first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities. In London, a woman who claimed she had persistent sexual arousal and had over 40 orgasms a day was jailed recently for welfare fraud. Ironically, they claimed she was faking it. A 39 year-old woman in Jericho, NY is suing her therapist after she repeatedly had sex with him during their therapy sessions. Five years they had sex and he charged her $30,000. Now she’s hired a lawyer; and she thought she got screwed by the doctor…. A recent “Cosmopolitan” magazine has an article for women called, “What Guys Notice: 20 Things That Turn Their Heads.” Twenty? Maybe the guy is looking at ten women. Police in Rio de Janiero say they've arrested a man who stole Viagra from a number of pharmacies. However, his accomplice is at large and getting larger. Spanish TV is showing a commercial for a product called American Bust. It's a cream you rub on and it gives you bigger breasts. Now if a rub on cream gives you bigger breasts, wouldn't it also give you bigger hands? There was a big conference in Australia on global warming and the organizers brought in a stripper to entertain the delegates. Half of the delegates walked out; the other half were men…. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: There is now a dating service for people who have sexually transmitted diseases. I believe it’s called MySpace. Officials in Concord High School in Concord, NH have stopped all the school dances because the students were gyrating suggestively and grinding into each other, which made a lot of people upset and several teachers very jealous. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: A woman in Bulgaria survived a horrible auto accident because her huge breast implants acted like air bags and saved her life. Unfortunately, her boyfriend's hands were completely destroyed. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Doctors say that 20% of men suffer from premature ejaculation. Now why do they say the men suffer? It’s the women that suffer. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: A new diet claims that the more sex you have, the thinner you will be. So, either way, you can lose weight by being on Jenny Craig. According to an online survey, 38% of people say they have prayed after having sex. The other 62% used a condom. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: |
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