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A man in Wisconsin has been arrested for having sex with a dead deer. The police are no giving his name; they are just reporting him as a John Doe. (more on the man having sex with a dead deer….) According to a recent poll by “Woman’s Day” magazine, 60% of women believe in ghosts. That’s because they’ve seen how quickly guys can disappear after sex. According to diet experts in "Allure" magazine, the average woman can burn up to 500 calories in an hour of love-making. The bad news? The average guy only lasts 5 calories. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: 1 in 4 women say they have negative images of their body during sex. Women, let me put your mind at ease. 9 times out of 10, the guy is thinking of some other women’s body during sex. Doctors in China have performed what is being described as the world’s first penis transplant. The operation went well, but after two weeks his body rejected it. So the man has no penis now. In fact, his friends say he’s just nuts. A guy in China was the first to have a penis transplant. Had it removed. That’s got to make life difficult – without a penis? What’s a man supposed to think with? According to a poll of singles, the number 1 trait that men look for in women is a sense of humor. You know how to make a woman laugh? Tell her the number 1 thing that men look for in women is a sense of humor. A new study says that the number 1 quality men find attractive in a woman is her sense of humor. They especially like it when they laugh at a joke and their boobs bounce up and down. A female librarian at a school in West Virginia has been suspended for having an inappropriate relationship with two male students. Now the kids are worried because the librarian is two weeks overdue…. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: According to a new survey in “Self” magazine, 40% of its readers have gone six months without sex; which explains why they’re fans of “Self” magazine. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: According to “Glamour” magazine, 4 out of 10 women say they will have sex on the third date. So guys, all you have to do is take her out to breakfast, lunch, and dinner…. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: According to the AskMen website, lipstick on your collar will disappear when rubbed with petroleum jelly. If you’re a guy and you’re walking around carrying petroleum jelly, chances are you’re not kissing a woman…. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Doctors in England report that a 28 year-old female patient has 250 orgasms a day. Now here’s a woman who should have her own reality show. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: The Oregon senate has approved a bill that will allow ex-prostitutes to become teachers. I believe the name of the bill is, “Every Child Gets Some Behind.” From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: According to a Harlequin Romance survey, 55% of men will tell a woman, “I love you,” just to have sex with her. The other 45% of guys said even that doesn’t work. A new study just released says Viagra can cure jetlag. Talk about snakes on a plane…. The owner of the Los Angeles Lakers, 74 year-old Jerry Buss was arrested on a DUI with a 23 year-old woman in his car. Actually, isn’t that what the Lakers need right now? Someone that can drive and score? Half the people interviewed say they have had sex with another employee at work. Here’s the weird part – it was all with the same employee. According to a new report by the National Center for Health Statistics, fewer and fewer high school students are having sex today. So that proves there’s a teacher shortage. In Wisconsin, a 38 year-old female substitute teacher was accused with having sex with a 13 year-old male student. Well, you know what they say about substitutes – they’re always easier than the regular teacher. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Porn star Jenna Jameson coming out with her own line of comic book heroes. I believe they’re called, “Fantastic On All Fours.” |
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