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Playboy announced they are coming out with a made-for-cell phone reality show; it’s a Playboy show you can see on your cell phone. They expect a 25% increase in subscribers and a 75% increase in car accidents. Recently in Los Angeles, a pornography film studio caught on fire. When firefighters rushed in, the porn stars said, “You call that a hose?” A 23 year-old man died of a heart attack in England after getting too aroused while watching porn. The actual cause of death? A series of strokes…. According to a new study from the University of Michigan, men are hardwired to over spend to attract a mate – especially if the man is spending singles and the mate is dancing around a brass pole. The limousine driver for New York Knicks center Eddie Curry is suing him and said Eddie repeatedly approached him and tried to have sex with him. The poor Knicks – they can’t score on or off the court. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: According to a study out of Ohio State University, just touching something before you buy it will make you willing to pay more for it. I believe this is known as the lap dance theory. A new study says that losing weight can improve a man’s sexual function – especially if it’s his girlfriend who’s losing the weight. A man’s Springer spaniel went into heart failure and got saved when the man gave the dog a Viagra. Talk about giving a dog a bone. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: The stimulus package has $335 million in it to combat sexually transmitted diseases, which makes it the first stimulus package to protect your package after it’s been stimulated. Researchers at Duke University report that people who have 200 or more organisms a year can reduce their age by 6 years. See that guys, you have the power of self-healing. From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: An Australian man was fined $2,000 after he filmed himself driving over 100 mph while masturbating. Is that carjacking? From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: In Baltimore, plans are underway for the city’s first nude sushi bar, where you eat sushi off of topless women. Is that a good combination? Naked women and seafood in a city famous for its crabs. L.A. fertility clinics are now paying attractive women $8,000 to be egg donors; they give guys $50 to bank their sperm. Although guys, if you pay the women the $8,000 you can make what they call a direct deposit. Police in St. Petersburg, FL arrested a 32 year-old female teacher who taught self-esteem classes after she traded nude photos of herself with a 14 male year-old student. The good news? The 14 year-old boy’s self-esteem is through the roof. A bill was introduced in New York that would tax patrons who frequent strip clubs. Is that fair? It drops the whole tax burden right in men’s laps. New York assemblyman Phillip Ortiz has introduced legislation proposing a $10 tax on strip club customers. So we’ve gone from a stimulus package tax increase to a tax increase to get our package stimulated. In Saginaw, MI, a man has pled guilty to having sex with a vacuum cleaner. He said his relationship with the vacuum was purely sexual – he didn’t want any attachments. From Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: It’s being reported that the bad economy has now hit the sex toy industry. They say people are cutting back on the purchase of sex toys and other kinky items. There’s proof the recession does hurt the little guy. From Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: A trial has begun in Mena, Arkansas for a man accused of sexual relations with two animals – a dog and a horse. Here’s the sick part: he wanted the horse to bark like a dog…. From Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: A Taco Bell in South Bend, Indiana is apologizing after two customers were caught servicing their clients. So that’s what a Chulapa is. After careful deliberation, officials in the state of New Jersey have decided not to ban bikini waxes in that state. They were going to ban it…but so many women protested, the women said they felt as if they were having the rug pulled out from under them…. Iranian scientists now say they have successfully cloned a goat; they have managed to reproduce a goat in the laboratory. Although, most Iranian men say they still prefer to do it the old-fashioned way…. According to a German company called BitCom, 84% of young people between the ages of 19-29 would give up their partner rather than give up the Internet. Of course, for most guys, the Internet is their partner. According to Women’s Health magazine, 1 in 5 men look at porn daily. The other 4 out of 5 look at it hourly. According to the book, “Porn Nation,” 40 million Americans regularly visit porn sites. You know what the clinical term is for people who do this? Men. Johnson & Johnson announced they have a new pill to cure premature ejaculation. It will go on sale in Sweden and Finland. It’s called Johnson & Johnson for Your Johnson. From Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: From Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Here’s a story with a happy ending: a little 6 month old puppy ate 30 refrigerator magnets and disappeared. Dog’s okay. They found him today stuck to a fire hydrant. According to a new study, 5% of men never masturbate. The good news, the other 95% more than make up for those guys…. According to “Self” magazine, 1 in 5 people have fantasized about having a threesome. Do you know what you call it when someone fantasizes about having a threesome? A one-some. According to a recent survey, 1 in 3 women have faked orgasms, the other 2 faked the answers. A man in England was arrested for hiring a prostitute to teach his 14 year-old child about sex. The father claims the kid was just being home-screwed. According to a survey in Men’s Health magazine, 87% of women say they like to yell out instructions to their men while they’re in bed. 78% of women say they like to yell out instructions to guys while they’re driving. In both cases they’re yelling the same thing: Slow down, you’re going the wrong way.
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