A Word A Day (AWAD)
With nearly half a million subscribers (and growing) in over 200 countries, "A Word A Day" is Anu Garg's tribute to the English language.  Read and understand your new word-of-the-day, and be a smarter and better person for it!

Who'd a Thought?

Random Supermarket Facts
The typical suburban supermarket is 35,000 square-feet.
Industry analysts say approximately 15,000 residents are needed to sustain a supermarket.  (LAT)

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The New Dollar
The new Sacajawea $1 U.S. coin weighs 8.1 grams (compared to 5.67 grams for a quarter) costs 12 cents to make and circulates for 30 years. A U.S. paper dollar, on the other hand, costs only 3 cents to make, but requires replacing every 18 months.  (LAT)

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Sweaty Feet
Feet, which have about 1,100 sweat glands per square inch, sweat even more than armpits do. The average foot gives off a quarter cup of liquid on a slow day, as much as a full cup on a day of fancy footwork.  (WSJ)

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Forks No More
At the nation's 7-Eleven stores, customers often finish their meals while standing in line to pay for them, says Kennith Fries, category manager for the retailer's fresh-bakery division. The convenience-store chain says customer demand for plastic cutlery with which to eat its prepared foods has fallen 5% in the past five years, a steep drop considering that almost everything is served on a stick or a bun to begin with.  (WSJ)

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Internet Work Distractions
In a new survey conducted by market researcher Greenfield Online, 13% of Internet users say access to the Internet makes it harder for them to stay focused at work and 9% say their job performance has declined as a result.  Much of this could be because Internet users are obsessively checking email.  Men are twice as likely as women to check email more than 15 times a day.  Email checking is mostly a young thing. About 21% of workers under the age of 25 check their email more than 15 times a day, compared with only 1% of workers who are 55 years or older.  (WSJ)

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Over 20 Years of Post-Its
Post-it notes, originally named "Press and Peel" notes, celebrates its 20th anniversary this month (April). The adhesive was developed by Spencer Silver of 3M in 1968 but the idea for a post-it type of note was errantly discovered by Art Fry (another 3M scientist) when he thought to put the not-too-sticky adhesive to the back of paper strips he had been using as bookmarks.

The first Post-it notes were distributed to the citizens of Boise, Idaho. It wasn't until 1980 that the "Press and Peel" notes went national; a decade later the name was changed to Post-it. And today, Post-its are available in 27 sizes, 56 shapes, and 50 colors.  (LAT)

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Ronald Reagan -- SOB
Backers of the Ronald Reagan State Builing were originally going to name it the Ronald Reagan State Office Building until someone noticed that it could possibly be abbreviated Ronald Reagan SOB. (LAT)

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$55 or $3.87?
The Concorde's average per-passenger food budget is $55. U.S. carriers spend about $3.87 to feed the average flier. (WSJ)

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Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

To prevent stains on your Tupperware from tomato-based sauces, use nonstick cooking spray before pouring.

Use air-fresheners to clean mirrors: It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.

Jokes Tough to Judge: Humor's Funny That Way
By JIM SHEA, HARTFORD COURANT
April 10, 2002

I've never understood why it's considered bad form to speak ill of the dead. I mean, is there anyone who could care less about what you think?

I bring this up because of what I'm about to say: I never found Milton Berle funny.

I understand the impact he had on early television. And I know that he would make many people laugh so hard, they had stuff coming out of their noses. But he never did it for me. As long as I'm on a roll, let me also say this: I never found Dudley Moore funny either.

Sure, he was OK in "Arthur," but I know a lot of people who play a better drunk.

So how come I never found either one funny, but millions of people did? The answer might rest in the nature of humor itself. Take being sad:

You put 20 people together, and chances are you can get them all to agree that something is sad--for example, a young father dies in a car accident.

Now ask those same 20 people to agree on what is funny.

For example:

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together when a tornado comes along and sucks them up into the air. When they finally come down, they realize they're in Oz. They decide to see the Wizard and have this exchange:

Quayle: "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."

Gingrich: "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."

Clinton: "I'm going to ask the Wizard for Dorothy's phone number."

OK, everybody who thought that was funny, raise your hands.

Now, those of you who didn't.

See, that's the thing about humor. It's elusive. Sadness is universal; humor is personal. You find something funny or you don't. No one knows why. What tickles us is all tied up in what makes us tick.

The randomness of humor was demonstrated on a grand scale last year when a university professor from Britain set out to find the world's funniest joke.

After some 100,000 individuals across the globe weighed in, here is what was determined to be the world's biggest knee-slapper:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a camping trip. Holmes awakens his companion in the night and asks him to "look up and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely that there are some planets like Earth. And if there are a few planets out there like Earth, there might also be life."

Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot; someone stole our tent."

Funny? Sure. Funniest joke in the world?

If you think that joke was good, or bad, consider this one:

"Why is television called a medium? Because it is neither rare, nor well done." That joke was a scream in Germany, a country whose people rated more jokes "very funny" than any other nationality. Hey, who knew?

The bottom line on humor is that, while we might know what is funny, we don't know what funny is. The subject is simply too broad to be parsed.

Just think of the number of forms humor can take. It can be lighthearted, warm, witty. Or it can be satirical, insulting, cruel. And we can find any of these approaches funny.

If all that isn't perplexing enough, why does humor evolve?

Why do I no longer find "The Smothers Brothers," "All in the Family" or "MASH" funny? Is it a matter of time, or the times?

If so, then why do I still find Richard Pryor and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" so amusing?Analyzing humor is a lot like contemplating the universe. If you do it too much, you're just going to make your head hurt.

The funny thing is that of all the people who have tried to define humor--Aristotle, Plato, Cicero among them--you know who I think comes the closest?

Chuckles the Clown:

"A little song,

"A little dance.

"A little seltzer

"Down your pants."

Germ Warfare in the Home
April 21, 2001 

According to government health sources (http://www.cdc.gov), letting water get into your mouth, increases the risk for "recreational water illnesses," caused by bacteria clinging to people's derrieres. 

Eating raw vegetables can lead to intake of bacteria that make one sick. 

The U.S. Department of Agriculture recommends cooking a burger patty till its temperature has reached at least 160 degrees

According to Harvard Medical School, wearing wide, high-heeled shoes increases the risk for arthritis of the knee. 

According to microbiologist Chuck Gerba of the University of Arizona, people who had just prepared a meal had more illness-causing bacteria on them than those who'd just cleaned a house or petted a dog or cat. People who had just used a public restroom had the lowest bacterial counts.

"Gerba has also calculated that if a phone receiver is touched by the contaminated hands of someone with diarrhea, 'the next user could have 107,104 Salmonella cells on the fingertip' and easily transfer 36,383 cells to the mouth."

The kitchen, not the bathroom, is the most germ-rich part of the home, especially drain areas, counter tops, cutting boards and faucets. The kitchen sponge had the most germs, with an average count of 780 million bacteria! The least dirtiest of those mentioned above is the toilet seat. 

Adapted from Rosie Mestel's 4.21.01 Los Angeles Times Health section article, "Like Party Guests, Germs Love the Kitchen."

The Brain Behind the Laughter
March 4, 2001 

According to the journal "Nature Neuroscience," Vinod Goel and Raymond Dolan (of York University in Toronto and the Institute of Neurology in London) analyzed the brain activity of 14 volunteers while they listened to jokes. Some of the jokes these volunteers heard: What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities. Why did the golfer wear two sets of pants? He got a hole in one. 

The volunteers weren't actually allowed to laugh -- that would create a fuzzy brain image. Instead volunteers ranked jokes on a "funniness" scale of 1 to 5. The findings: several parts of people's brain got especially active when jokes were told, but which parts depended on the type of joke.

Pun-based jokes (like the one about the golfer) activated parts of the brain that deal with how words sound. Jokes such as the engineer one activated areas of the brain dealing with meaning of language. 

Regardless, both these types of jokes activated a third area of the brain: the medial ventral prefrontal cortex, an area linked to feeling a reward sensation (such as the feeling people might get after drug use or eatting favorite foods). The funnier the joke, the scientists found, the more that region lit up. 

So, if you can't seem to find the humor in this website, it could be that your medial ventral prefrontal cortex needs to be looked at. ;)

Adapted from Rosie Mestel's 2.26.01 Los Angeles Times Health section article, "Your Brain Recognizes a Good Joke."

Red Lights That Go On and On and....
June 20, 2000

You're almost there, but IT'S ALREADY THERE.  That long, unforgiving light.   That which stops you cold in your tracks.  You're angry -- and you've got a whopping 4 minutes to think about it.

Red lights across the country are getting longer and longer.  Four minutes late?  If you cross the Fairfax County Parkway and Fair Lakes Parkway in Farifax County, VA, you can blame it on one of the longest stoplights in the country.  Many red lights in the 1990s were 90 seconds long.   Some were near 3 minutes.  Compare these lights to those of the 1970s, when the typical wait was a crisp 45 seconds.  The longest lights are usually during rush hour, with different light cycles at different times of the day.  This technically speeds up traffic because seconds are wasted every time traffic starts and stops when red lights (eventually) turn green.  But, honestly, how fast does 0 mph really feel?

Why are you waiting SO LONG?  Blame it on increased traffic; (more) left-turn only lanes; bus lanes; bike lanes; and wider streets because of left-turn only lanes, bus lanes, and bike lanes that necessitate longer green lights to accomodate pedestrians.  Adding to this wait is the possibility of accidents:  Drivers eager to beat a 4-minute red may burrel down the street, adding to the 1.8 million accidents occurring at intersections.  These accidents kill more than 7,800 people annually.

The easiest remedy is to grin and bear it.   Plan ahead, leave early.  Take a coffee break, read the paper, do some in-car exercises, meditate.  You've got 4 minutes, why not?

Inspired from "Stopped at a Light?   Why Not Read This, You May Have Plenty of Time," a June 13, 2000 Anne Wilde Mathews article that appeared in the Wall Street Journal. 

Airing Your Dirty...Dishes
June 20, 2000

Dinner's over but the dishes aren't.  Not a problem.  Just drop them in the dishwasher and let the magic happen.  Yeah, right.  As if anything was ever that easy.  Anybody and everybody who has used a dishwasher has had "the dishwasher argument."  One even reached a point-of-no-return, when in 1997, a dishwasher shot and killed a busboy 6 times after arguing over the best way to load silverware.  

Josephine Cochrane invented the dishwasher in 1880, when she was unhappy with her hired dish washers.  The first automatic model took years to develop and was powered by a hand pump.  "60% of American households have dishwashers -- and some have two, one for dity dishes and one in which to store clean ones."  Sales rose to 5.7 million units in 1999.  Whirlpool is tops, with a 39% market share.  General Electric has 35% and Maytag has 19%.

Today, some consider Sandra C. Steward the dishwasher matriarch.  She is the leading expert on dishwasher loading at Whirlpool.   As matriarch, she's determined that there are 2 distinct groups of dishwasher loaders:  Rambos and Artists.  Rambos simply and haphazardly throw dishes into the washer; Artists are decidedly more anal-retentive, arranging everything neatly in its place.  Which group is right?  Although she won't say, she does recommend some do's and don'ts:

     * Scrape and load, don't rinse
     * Cradle glasses between -- not over -- the tines of the dishwasher rack
     * Desposit flatware randomly, with some pointing up and some down, to facilitate water flow
     * Load items according to size, with small things up front and large items in the back; this
        helps disperse detergent evenly
     * Place plastics on top, away from the most intense heat
     * Powdered detergents work better than gels; but don't ever use liquids
     * Go ahead and clean your fine china and stemware, but test a small saucer in case you
        have doubts

You Are What You Snack
April 3, 2000

According to Dr. Alan R. Hirsch's (a neurologist and director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago) recent study, "Snack Food Hedonics and Personality," junk food preferences say something about who you are. The study -- which should be taken with a grain of salt and a healthy dose of skepticism -- was underwritten by the Snack Food Assn. and the National Potato Promotion Board.

Dr. Hirsch's research suggests:
     * Potato-chip lovers are "ambitious, successful high achievers who enjoy . . .the trimmings of
        their success."
     * Tortilla-chip eaters are "humanitarians who are often distressed by inequities and injustices
        of society."
     * Pretzel people are trend-conscious. They "seek novelty" and are "lively, enthusiastic and fun
        to be with!"
     * Cheese-curls adherents are "formal, conscientious and always proper."
     * Meat-snack types tend to be "gregarious," "generous to a fault" and male. They sacrifice
        their own comfort to please others.
     * Cracker snackers are "contemplative and thoughtful"; they base decisions on "logic rather
        than emotions." Dr. Hirsch predicts that "those who prefer crackers may easily find
        themselves romantically involved in an Internet relationship."

To find your snack food Mr. or Mrs. Right, you should know that potato-chip lovers are most compatible with pretzel people. Tortilla chippers should stick to their own. Pretzel people play with well others. Proponents of snack crackers go for those promiscuous pretzel people. Cheese curlers make a cute couple with potato and tortilla chippers. And meat snackers are meat-and-potato chip people.

Inspired from "Snack Food for Thought," a March 29, 1999 Ellen Alperstein article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times. 

BACK TO TOP

Maudlin Stories Take You to College
January 7, 2000

To get into colleges such as UCLA and UC Berkeley, some hopefuls are playing the crying game.  Gender-bending and sexual ambiguity aside, stiff competition, grade and SAT-score parity, and the loss of affirmative action have forced college hopefuls to share hardship tales.  By seeking students who have succeeded inspite of obstacles, officials hope to maintain the achievement and diversity of the student body.

This means your next tear-jerker will as likely come from a college-bound 500-a-word-or-less essay as it is to come from a Hollywood-bound script.  According to Rae Lee Siporin, director of undergraduate admissions at UCLA, "If you believe these essays, California is the most unhealthy state in the union.  There are more sick parents. There are more dying grandparents. There are more burned down houses and natural disasters than anywhere else in the world. That is what we hear about over and over again."  By the November application deadline, roughly 85,000 personal essays have been mailed into the UC system.  Story -- or should I say essay -- topics range from a UC Berkeley hopeful who lost everything in a wildfire (except for her dad's Berkeley class ring), a candidate who helped her friend overcome a drug problem, a friend killed in a car accident, etc.   Call it pyschotherapy for admissions, but in "a time marked by high anxiety and pitifully low self-esteem....  Perhaps no other piece of writing carries such weight in determining one's destiny. Living in a material world, teenagers are suddenly supposed to turn introspective and spill their guts on paper in a way that will sum up their accomplishments, demonstrate their maturity and perhaps even show a flair for writing -- all in a couple of pages."  Given these stressful moments, candidates need to believe that such sob stories work.

Not surprisingly, an enterprising America has developed a cottage industry to help students discover or become aware of hardships and triumphs conquered.  All cynicism aside, some students are numb to the fact that their daily lives shouldn't be filled with horrific struggles.  North Hollywood High School counselor Susan Bonoff "finds herself nudging low-income students to write about things that amplify their accomplishments."

Ultimately, entry into the UC system depends on test scores, solid grades, and essays that reflect high achievement.   Although, essays that invoke tissue-use wouldn't hurt.

Inspired from "Making an Art of the Sob Story," a December 16, 1999 Kenneth R. Weiss article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times. 

No Toilet Humor for the Japanese
December 30, 1999

For the Japanese, the toilet is truly the porcelain throne.  The confluence of their religion's emphasis on cleanliness, a relatively high constipation/low fiber diet, and the restroom's offering of peace and quiet in crowded Japan, has led to an unmatched fascination with the toilet.  The Japanese have toilet exhibits and museums, Zagat-like toilet web guides, symposiums and conferences, 24k solid gold toilets, TV shows about toilets (where you'll discover that only 30% of the world's population uses toilet paper; the other 70% uses hands, water, sand, rocks, mud, leaves, or rope), and toilets that can test for illness and cancer.  Not surprisingly, the Japanese have footwear specifically for the bathroom.

Surprisingly, the Japanese weren't always this "toilet trained."  Up to the early 1900s, merchants sold city waste to country farmers for use as fertilizer; plumbing was hardly known until a 1923 earthquake threatened disease to a then toilet-naive Japan.   Japan's obsession with the toilet began after World War II, when the Japanese took ahold of France, Swiss, and U.S. toilets and added technology to them.  

Wearing the toilet crown is Toto Ltd., which in the 1980s set the industry standard with the Washlet.  These $1,000 and up (think $4,000) toilets, the "Lexus of toiletry," are fashioned with more features than a newspaper.  Pricey as they may be, some of their many talents include squirt-cleansing and blow-drying your rear, armrests and a pseudo-ejection seat.  The Japanese have even designed a device called the "Sound Princess."  Installed in bathrooms, it simulates the sound of flushing water, saving both the environment and the humiliation of demure ladies and self-conscious men who "flush repeatedly to hide embarrassing sounds."

With all this toilet technology, it's a wonder that we're not all flush with envy.

Inspired from "Japan is Flush with Obsession," a December 13, 1999 Mark Magnier article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times.